Morning Arura..

Have you ever had moments where you just can't forget, stupid or sweet? Good or bad?..lol I certainly know I have. Though those moments were just another memory, but it is definitely one of the best ever. Right now, I feel as if those memories are fading away. I know I shouldn't doubt anything at all about anyone or whatever happens, but I can't help but to worry. And apparently, worrying is one of the most deadliest weapon ever. I really can't help it. I am trying though, and I think I actually succeeded last night haha. Just for a while. lol.

You know, I wish I would stop drifting at the sea of confusing and doubt, and just get on with my life. I've been drifting for way too long now. Way, way too long..But, all I do is just wish.

Anyways, off to college now. I think I actually need to blog every morning just to get my mind off of things lol. Alrights now. Going off..

Rings, Lights, & One very empty table.

Do you see what I see in this picture? I don't know about you, but this picture always gives me the feel of loneliness, and the beauty of two things combined. This picture has no meaning to me. It was just randomly taken by my cousin. Both these rings are mine, but it gives me the feel this both rings, has some significant meaning. In other words, it was beautifully taken.

Right now, I'm feeling this picture. So very empty, standing alone, but yet feeling ever so content as well. lol. I think I'm just having those mixed emotions days again. lol anyways, catch y'all laters.

What? Where? When? huh?

Updated playlist!

The falling leaves, drift by my window, the falling leaves of red and gold...

I wish..
I hope..
I pray..
and I fall..

Slow Me Down - Emmy Rossum

Rushing and racing, and running in circles
Moving so fast, I'm forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere

My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic
Pace of the world, I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together
I'm falling apart

Save me
Somebody take my hand, and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down

Sometimes I fear that I might disappear
In the blur of fast forward I falter again
Forgetting to breathe, I need to sleep
I'm getting nowhere

All that I've missed I see in the reflection
Passed me while I wasn't paying attention
Tired of rushing, racing and running
I'm falling apart

Tell me
Oh won't you take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down

Just show me
I need you to slow me down

The noise of the world is getting me caught up
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it
Just need to breathe, somebody please
Slow me down

Love? Ranting is more like it..lol

What exactly is LOVE? Love, love, love! Anyone can just SAY 'I love you'. ANYONE! But, do you know what is the real deal? Do you know how it is like really being in love? I know some may have known, but most of us, just say it for the sake of saying it! Argh! And mind you, it pisses me off! "I love you" was once the most treasured word, and it is not to be said until you actually mean it! Not when you think you mean it or when you just feel like saying it! GOD DAMN IT! Say it when you mean it! When you REALLY want to have that person for the rest of life! OMG! WHAT THE FREAKING HELL!

I am not blaming anyone or criticizing, but really, get a grip! Love is something to be treasured, something to cherish! Not some word you JUST say. And fuck you if you think love is just for relationship! Coz it is not! Love, is just a word. If you really love a person, SHOW IT! What the helllll! Love this, love that...FULL OF BULLSHIT!

Love is misused because of such dilemmas, and well, it is hard to see because love is such a genuine thing. I wouldn't actually say it until I mean it. I won't say 'I love you' until I know I am stable enough to handle the responsibility to come. I won't just say it, I will show it! It sucks to know that some people actually would say it for the fun of it or just cause they feel like it. I strongly feel that, that isn't the right thing to do. If you really want to say it, mean it, and hold it with you at all time! 'Cause the people you said it to, may buy it once, but they sure can't hold on to just your words all the time! They need you to hold onto your words and show them that it is actually true! GOSHHH!!!! How clueless can people be?!

I think I am just ranting it all out..haha. Somehow, I feel the need to tell the world. haha. But seriously, say it, mean it, hold it..Don't leave any of that three behind. It will make your life a living nightmare! And I will make your life a living nightmare if you just simply say it to me or any of my dear friends! Anyways..haha gotta run! See yas..

Contentment.

Nothing like a cold, cold day eh?..Today is such a beautiful day. The air is constantly moving, the weather is just right, and the company, well, it's priceless. I thought of taking a picture for this post 'coz I it seems like the moment thing to do. The picture I took isn't all wow but, it does show exactly how I'm feeling at the moment.

This contentment is slowly dying off and I can do nothing about it. lol. All I want to say is, our life course changes, so why not appreciate every moment we have left. Tell the your loved ones that you love them, before it's too late. Tell your friends that you appreciate them with your life before they leave, before they fade. 'Coz whether we like it or not, they will disappear one day. Even I will disappear, but till then, I am living each day one day at a time.

Expressing how you feel isn't exactly easy. It is actually hard. Especially to me. On the outside, I seemed all stable, confident, happy, but the truth is I am very unstable, emotionally. Lol. Ah! Forget all of this! haha. I've forgotten the real meaning of joy, even until now. I realised that I needed to be constantly reminded of my contentment. Which is quite sad, if you ask me. haha.

Anyways, that is it for now. Today is Nick's birthday. Going out for dinner with him later. >.< I feel bad having Charlene paying for the food, but I'm brokee. Really, really broke......(I'm sorry Lene.... :'( ..) lol. Alright, I'm off now.

currently hearing : teddy geiger, a million years.

Random!

This is my song...la la laa..Love that song and I'm hearing it now. It's by Brandie Carlile. haha. Anyways, I've been super content lately. haha. Though I'm super, duper broke! >.< So life has been great, and college has been going well. Though me and my college mates suspects a flying disease-carrying mosquito in college. *GAPS* Yeap, the deadly dengue is back, ladies and gentlemen. haha. So far, there's 3 people infected. Let's hope there's isn't any more than just them 3..swts..haha.

I'm currently lovin' college life! Though I think I'm super blur in class whenever any of my college mates talks to me or maybe I'm just super sleepy. I'll go with the sleepy!!!! :P Anyways, I've been thinking lately, and well haha, I've decided to be more open than I used to be and embrace change! haha. Sounds like a mighty hard task..So to help me with that, I shall also find a new hobby..(yes, yes Charlene..haha) Maybe I should start reading..........Nahh! haha. I'll think of something! :P

Tomorrow is Nick's birthday!! haha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE NICKKKK!!!!

haha. I absolutely love birthdays! It's one of the best days to celebrate! :D Anyways, I'm outta here! Ciaoz and take care all!

Friendship.

What is more beautiful than a pair of hands locked together? I think this is, by far, the most beautiful picture I've ever seen. It just seems like the world's weight was lifted in that very picture. Some people see it in relationships, and some in family. I see it in the beauty of friendship. It may sound all crazy or rather weird, but to me, nothing matters more than relationship I have with my friends. Through hardship, sorrows, miseries or just good ol' times, I appreciate every moment of it. I may have to go through all the shit in the world for them, but it is all worth it. Having people like them is like having my prayer answered. This could be a crazy thing to be praying and hoping about, but I do. I know one day, they will leave my life, but until then, I will go through every moment one step at a time. At least then, I have something to look back after a couple of years later, and get to say this very line, "I have been there, got my heart broken, broken a heart, but we mended it back together, as one".

I sound rather in love aren't I? haha. Guess you can say I love the relationship I have with my friends. Not all people can see or feel that, but those who could, I know how it is like. haha. Now, I see everyday as a gift! la la laa..



haha! I love that picture..Anyways, these are the people I'm talking about. The loves of my life. haha. Through crazy, stupid, happy, sad, hyper and insane time, we all still make the best of the day. Love it all, love you all. =)

Please excuse my face in most of the picture..haha












Life is dead without people like you,
It is especially hard when life treats me like a fool.
Sometimes, I doubt about the true meaning of life,
But you all held me back, and lead me to the light.
I can do nothing but to thank all of you,
For being the greatest people in my life..