Tuesday 29 July 2008

The Forgotten Angel.



She took my hand and said;
"My dear friend, there is nothing to worry about for I will be here with you all the time, and when you look up at the skies above at night, you will remember the times we've been together"

She then let go of my hand and flew away. I then replied;
"For all I know, you will always remain in my heart.
I promise...."

Monday 28 July 2008

Final Week, Final Step, FINALS!!

The last 3months had went by so fast. It seems like just yesterday, my college lesson is just starting. This week is my final week for my first semester. Feel kinda sad though for some reason. The end of this week will be my final examinations and well, I can't wait to get it over and done. After that, it is 2 weeks of stress-free crash course haha. Next semester, the March and May intakes will be both combined. So yes, there will be some serious case of competitions, new people to meet, and more classes to attend. But I am ready for it. I can't wait to march to the next step.

This Thursday will be my English class party. We're having party. Pizza party to be exact. haha. I need some ideas for games. If anyone can think of something, just leave me a comment. I need it. haha. Me and my sister are now the gamemasters. LOL! I'm gonna wear nicely for the party. It's gonna be one hell of a photo taking session haha.

haha. Anyways, I'm outta here.

Saturday 26 July 2008

Thoughts

We sure have come a long way. For some it is impossible to reach to this point, but we made it somehow. You and I are one crazy combination, and I'm glad we found one another. :)

Friday 25 July 2008

Blog, No Idea, Missing, Songs, Laughs!

In love with the song whatever it takes! haha. Today, I feel like blogging, but I have absolutely no idea on what to blog about. haha! Tomorrow is another presentation, next week is finals, haha. Really, I have no idea what to write about. I LOVE LOVE LOVE lifehouse! haha. And I freaking miss so many God damn people and those God damn people didn't even give me any signs if they are even alive! haha. Oh wells. I'm outta here!!

Thursday 24 July 2008

Gratitude Of The Unspoken.

Once upon a time, I met this mysterious girl that I've been dying to get close to. When I first glanced upon her dark beautiful brown eyes and her wavy black hair, the first thought that came into my head was damn. There she was, standing there alone, steadily hanging onto what I see as, an invincible string. The string was merely nothing, more like a strong, transparent thread. From then onwards, I started to study her every moves, and noticing her every likes and dislikes. It took me a while, but I got in the end.

One fine day came along, and it was a new start of a brand new year. It was then when I found out I have ended up the in the same class as the very same girl. A slight rush was filled in me, a mix of excitement and fear. As a result, I ended up with a crazy heartburn thinking that I must be God damn dreaming.

The sun was still down, it was still dark as it was 7 in the morning. The cold, cold breeze blew from here to there, and the smell of the grass so green right from the field, next to the assembly podium, was able to detect. Oh, what beautiful morning it was. As the morning goes by, as usual, the managements took forever explaining about things that were already explained 10 years ago. Don't know why they bothered and why they had to waste their precious times. After the long-winded speech that was given by all the management of the school, we were finally able to go to our own classes.

As I walked to my class, my friends pulled me aside and said things like, "I don't want to be in a different class from you" and stuff that were related to that. But it's life. Things are bound to change, one way or another. After that one heat of letting go, I moved towards the class that I was set for. On the way there, that girl, came to me and asked if I was in the same class as she does. Without hesitating, I said; "yes".

We decided to sit next to each other. She claimed that she has no one else to sit with. From there, we slowly developed, what I believe as, the greatest friendship. It didn't take long before she opened up to me about her life, but it sure took me a while. I had trust issues due to what had happened in my past. However, that never stopped her from giving up. She tried and tried and tried even more. But I refuse to let anything out. It was a great deal of security for me.

One day, that girl and I had something to do for our cooking class and we wanted to practice before we actually start the real deal. We then decided to hang around someone's place and hit to one of her most trusted friend's crib after. Our other member couldn't make it because of some silly excuse and that made that girl fired up. She couldn't stop venting while we were walking to one of our friend's place. Vent, vent, vent, vent. She honestly looked like some crazy person that was ready to kill someone back then, but thank God I manage to cool her down with words I didn't imagine I could actually say. From then on, I started considering on Psychology as my future course. (yes, yes. lol)

On the very same day, was when I started opened up to her about everything. It was because we had time to talk, we clicked more than we used to be. I told her everything. From childhood experience to primary experience, from the friends I had met to the dramas I had faced, and lastly about my family dilemmas. She was glad that I finally opened up to her. The joy in her face was priceless. It was as if her pathway of life was suddenly shown by the light above. It was funny, weird, and great at the same time.

From that day onwards, we shared everything we have in common, everything we dislike, what we love to do and what we hate, life happenings, and everything else. It was the most greatest thing that has happened to me so far that very year. I couldn't stop thanking God for the presence of her in my life. She was my breath of fresh air, my saviour of darkness.

Though we had our ups and downs, we were strong. We were strong enough to be put our egos aside and talk about the mistakes that we had put each other through. On top of that, we are so strong that even until today, we still are the greatest among all. We could go through any crazy times, any depressing ones, miseries, sob calls, drunk calls, arguments, fights, and so on. Of course there are also happy times. Let's just let that be my own memory to keep. =]

This very girl, has been the greatest love of my life, next to God and also my cousins. lol. She had been there for me through dark and bright. haha. Now that she is growing up, I have no choice but to let her go. It took me a lot of time, a lot of effort, a lot of cries, but I know, deep down inside, she will still remain. I know that you've been telling me this all this while, but trust me, it isn't as easy as you think it was. lol. If you are wondering, I am not in love with you. I am just very much attached to you. (just in case you take it the wrong way, y'know? ;] )

You have been a great person, great monitor, but most of all, a great friend. Thank you for understanding the other side of me, embraced it, and took in like no other. Ever since the last time I argued with you, I have decided to draw a line across it. It is enough. I will accept changes with open arms from now on. And that goes the same with what's happening to you. If you must, go ahead. I won't stop you. Not any more. I will now, set you free. Fly away, my lil' butterfly and prove the whole world that you are who you are. Be strong and free. I will stand by you all the time, no matter what it is, how it was, and what is going to be. I will be around, just call for me and I assure you, I will get there before your first tear can shed.

Charlene, you are the most dearest to my heart, and from the bottom of my heart I want to say, thank you, I'm sorry, and I promise. If you know what I mean. haha.

Anyways, I'm outta here. Supposed to be studying!!!!!!! haha. Bye all.

Wednesday 23 July 2008

OMG!

Like my title said, OMG! haha! I got a brand new guitar! Okay, maybe not brand new, but it sure does looks like brand neww!! It's a Santa Cruz guitar, given to me by my sister's boyfriend! :D It is bloody red in colour (which is another OMG coz I wanted a bloody red guitar from Yamaha that day!) haha! Real cool. Sounds not half bad. And I manage to actually tune it, thank you very much. haha. Anyways, enough talking. Let the pictures do the talking for me'th. haha. ;)

















:D Peace out!

Monday 21 July 2008

Presentation Week!

WoooHooo! The week that I've been dying for is here! This week is the week where everyone starts their long, awaited presentations. Our English class, which is Mrs Chua's class, require us to do a simple book review and a brief study of the charaters. However, Madam Goh's class, where I wish to be my class, gave her class an open topic to choose from. A very wide varietied topic. haha.

There is a friend of mine that's from Madam Goh's class, where by the name of Dalvinder (yes, yes, the emo boy) he chose the most predictable topic, and mind you, it is so him. haha. He chose to talk about suicide. haha. Stupid jackass really has nothing better to talk about. Whereas for his friend, Aavinash, I think he's talking about the environment. haha. Me? Me...me.......Me. haha I am doing book review on The Diary of Anne Frank. It is one hell of a boring book. Seriously and honestly BORING! I really don't see how people can learn to enjoy it. swt.....haha

Here's a glimpse of how the book looks like....



Wuah lah! The wonderful Diary of Anne Frank...

You know, somehow, true story based things, no matter movies or books, scares me. Maybe it is the fact that it happened during the civil war or maybe it is the fact that the past has some scary stuff happening. I don't know. All I know is it scares me, and haha, when it does, I don't bother to even touch or look at it. haha. (I'm sure by now you should be able to tell have I finished the book or have I not. haha)

Anyways, I'm hungry and in college. Bored and hungry. I think I will get something to munch. Okay maybe not munch, but actually eat haha. Alrights. I'm outta here!

the heart held prisoner.

Look me in the eyes, and tell me what do you see. The storm in my heart is finally ending, and there comes the shine piercing through the dark clouds above. Though standing on the shore alone, it still doesn't matter. For the mind of mine has finally figured out the riddles to my own heart. Blinded all this while of silly things and nonsense behaviour, thy fell down like no other. Fell in the darkest of all pits, now slowly surfacing my intention-free mind and heart. Thy last breath has been consumed, for thy have died for a while. Lay asleep in the dungeons of the pits of despair, to be held prisoner by thy own heart. Now, thy are coming back. Slowly waking up from the endless nightmare that thy had put so many people through. Come back!; thee said. Hearing that sweet sound of reminder, thy had realised that it has been real silly of thy to go on in the dark. Now, let's all celebrate for a new day is dawning, a new life is starting. Thy may not be great as before, but thy sure can try to be the best.

Friday 18 July 2008

L.Y.G.F.G.A.M.F.M.F.B.O.L!

I shall not wait no longer. Today is the time to move, to set my feelings straight. I will not dwell in this darkness no longer. Today is the day where I will start my march. I will march forth and never turn back. Treating everyone the same, no highs, no lows. No more priorities is set, no more important and least important. I will live my life with the things I have to do, and the things I should be worried about. I will not turn back from this journey of life, and continue going forward till I reach my goal.

Thursday 17 July 2008

Pathway Of Love

This is a song I randomly thought of today during my computing class..lol. Stupid replacement class. It was at 4pm till 6pm, so yeah, I had a lot of time to kill. lol. This song don't exactly have a tune just yet, but I am working on it. These lines are cheezy though, I would say. lol. Somehow, these words flew out from my fingers, and I decided to just make it a song.

I guess what inspired me was, as usual, Charlene. Don't know how, don't know why, but yeah. This, of course, isn't about me. It is more about her. I don't know if she'll come across this, but yeah..

Anyways, this song is entitled Pathway Of Love. The story line of this song is kinda clear already, so there is no need to explain. Take a good look, pray I have the tune in tack soon, and I'm out.


Pathway Of Love

Tears in my head,
And thoughts in my mind.
I wished I could stay,
Right here tonight.
Though all I know,
It's something that never shows,
But who do you call,
When you're all there alone?

Sleeping tonight,
With tears in my eyes.
Holding so tight,
A photo with life.
Something you've said,
Made me to stay.
I need you tonight,
Cause I'm loosing the fight.

And Some things never change,
I know, I'm aware of that.
This story never meant,
For you in my life.

Can you walk once again with me,
In this pathway of love.
Show me how it's like,
To be all the way above.
You were the one,
That I ripped heart for,
Can you show me once again,
That this is worth it all.

6 years went by,
And you're still right here with me.
Doubting never change,
But it have made us complete.
Now I know,
Who you really are.
But show me once again,
That you are who you are.

Things may never change,
That is what I believe.
But fate do remain,
Making us eternity.

Can you walk once again with me,
In this pathway of love.
Show me how it's like,
To be all the way above.
You were the one,
That I ripped heart for,
Can you show me once again,
That this is worth it all.

You may never always be here,
But the truth is that,
You are always near.

Can you walk once again with me,
In this pathway of love.
Show me how it's like,
To be all the way above.
You were the one,
That I ripped heart for,
Can you show me once again,
That this is worth it all.

Can you walk once again with me,
In this pathway of love.
Show me how it's like,
To be all the way above.
You were the one,
I believed,
The person who change my life,
And for eternity.

Another Morning, Another Emotion.

Yeah, life does have it's ups and downs..But what happens when we all are fed up of everything that matters to us? That even the greatest of all love won't change how we are right at this moment? I really don't know. Are we destined to walk an eternity of doubts and confusion, or are we going to look through things and say, "I can do it"? I certainly can't say I can do it. I have tried though. We may have a glimpse of light waiting for us at the end of our pain, but it is worth it all? Is it the x-factor of all life when we decide to actually go through the light? Darkness stays..

I may have gave it my best shot to actually please myself, but it isn't enough for just me alone. I need others. Oh well, guess I have to just deal with this anyways. Life, you're a pain in the neck.

Anyways, I'm off.

Wednesday 16 July 2008

Morning Arura..

Have you ever had moments where you just can't forget, stupid or sweet? Good or bad?..lol I certainly know I have. Though those moments were just another memory, but it is definitely one of the best ever. Right now, I feel as if those memories are fading away. I know I shouldn't doubt anything at all about anyone or whatever happens, but I can't help but to worry. And apparently, worrying is one of the most deadliest weapon ever. I really can't help it. I am trying though, and I think I actually succeeded last night haha. Just for a while. lol.

You know, I wish I would stop drifting at the sea of confusing and doubt, and just get on with my life. I've been drifting for way too long now. Way, way too long..But, all I do is just wish.

Anyways, off to college now. I think I actually need to blog every morning just to get my mind off of things lol. Alrights now. Going off..

Tuesday 15 July 2008

Rings, Lights, & One very empty table.

Do you see what I see in this picture? I don't know about you, but this picture always gives me the feel of loneliness, and the beauty of two things combined. This picture has no meaning to me. It was just randomly taken by my cousin. Both these rings are mine, but it gives me the feel this both rings, has some significant meaning. In other words, it was beautifully taken.

Right now, I'm feeling this picture. So very empty, standing alone, but yet feeling ever so content as well. lol. I think I'm just having those mixed emotions days again. lol anyways, catch y'all laters.

Friday 11 July 2008

What? Where? When? huh?

Updated playlist!

The falling leaves, drift by my window, the falling leaves of red and gold...

I wish..
I hope..
I pray..
and I fall..

Slow Me Down - Emmy Rossum
Rushing and racing, and running in circles
Moving so fast, I'm forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere

My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic
Pace of the world, I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together
I'm falling apart

Save me
Somebody take my hand, and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down

Sometimes I fear that I might disappear
In the blur of fast forward I falter again
Forgetting to breathe, I need to sleep
I'm getting nowhere

All that I've missed I see in the reflection
Passed me while I wasn't paying attention
Tired of rushing, racing and running
I'm falling apart

Tell me
Oh won't you take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down

Just show me
I need you to slow me down

The noise of the world is getting me caught up
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it
Just need to breathe, somebody please
Slow me down

Sunday 6 July 2008

Love? Ranting is more like it..lol

What exactly is LOVE? Love, love, love! Anyone can just SAY 'I love you'. ANYONE! But, do you know what is the real deal? Do you know how it is like really being in love? I know some may have known, but most of us, just say it for the sake of saying it! Argh! And mind you, it pisses me off! "I love you" was once the most treasured word, and it is not to be said until you actually mean it! Not when you think you mean it or when you just feel like saying it! GOD DAMN IT! Say it when you mean it! When you REALLY want to have that person for the rest of life! OMG! WHAT THE FREAKING HELL!

I am not blaming anyone or criticizing, but really, get a grip! Love is something to be treasured, something to cherish! Not some word you JUST say. And fuck you if you think love is just for relationship! Coz it is not! Love, is just a word. If you really love a person, SHOW IT! What the helllll! Love this, love that...FULL OF BULLSHIT!

Love is misused because of such dilemmas, and well, it is hard to see because love is such a genuine thing. I wouldn't actually say it until I mean it. I won't say 'I love you' until I know I am stable enough to handle the responsibility to come. I won't just say it, I will show it! It sucks to know that some people actually would say it for the fun of it or just cause they feel like it. I strongly feel that, that isn't the right thing to do. If you really want to say it, mean it, and hold it with you at all time! 'Cause the people you said it to, may buy it once, but they sure can't hold on to just your words all the time! They need you to hold onto your words and show them that it is actually true! GOSHHH!!!! How clueless can people be?!

I think I am just ranting it all out..haha. Somehow, I feel the need to tell the world. haha. But seriously, say it, mean it, hold it..Don't leave any of that three behind. It will make your life a living nightmare! And I will make your life a living nightmare if you just simply say it to me or any of my dear friends! Anyways..haha gotta run! See yas..

Thursday 3 July 2008

Contentment.


Nothing like a cold, cold day eh?..Today is such a beautiful day. The air is constantly moving, the weather is just right, and the company, well, it's priceless. I thought of taking a picture for this post 'coz I it seems like the moment thing to do. The picture I took isn't all wow but, it does show exactly how I'm feeling at the moment.

This contentment is slowly dying off and I can do nothing about it. lol. All I want to say is, our life course changes, so why not appreciate every moment we have left. Tell the your loved ones that you love them, before it's too late. Tell your friends that you appreciate them with your life before they leave, before they fade. 'Coz whether we like it or not, they will disappear one day. Even I will disappear, but till then, I am living each day one day at a time.

Expressing how you feel isn't exactly easy. It is actually hard. Especially to me. On the outside, I seemed all stable, confident, happy, but the truth is I am very unstable, emotionally. Lol. Ah! Forget all of this! haha. I've forgotten the real meaning of joy, even until now. I realised that I needed to be constantly reminded of my contentment. Which is quite sad, if you ask me. haha.

Anyways, that is it for now. Today is Nick's birthday. Going out for dinner with him later. >.< I feel bad having Charlene paying for the food, but I'm brokee. Really, really broke......(I'm sorry Lene.... :'( ..) lol. Alright, I'm off now.

currently hearing : teddy geiger, a million years.

Wednesday 2 July 2008

Random!

This is my song...la la laa..Love that song and I'm hearing it now. It's by Brandie Carlile. haha. Anyways, I've been super content lately. haha. Though I'm super, duper broke! >.< So life has been great, and college has been going well. Though me and my college mates suspects a flying disease-carrying mosquito in college. *GAPS* Yeap, the deadly dengue is back, ladies and gentlemen. haha. So far, there's 3 people infected. Let's hope there's isn't any more than just them 3..swts..haha.

I'm currently lovin' college life! Though I think I'm super blur in class whenever any of my college mates talks to me or maybe I'm just super sleepy. I'll go with the sleepy!!!! :P Anyways, I've been thinking lately, and well haha, I've decided to be more open than I used to be and embrace change! haha. Sounds like a mighty hard task..So to help me with that, I shall also find a new hobby..(yes, yes Charlene..haha) Maybe I should start reading..........Nahh! haha. I'll think of something! :P

Tomorrow is Nick's birthday!! haha.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE NICKKKK!!!!
haha. I absolutely love birthdays! It's one of the best days to celebrate! :D Anyways, I'm outta here! Ciaoz and take care all!

Tuesday 1 July 2008

Friendship.



What is more beautiful than a pair of hands locked together? I think this is, by far, the most beautiful picture I've ever seen. It just seems like the world's weight was lifted in that very picture. Some people see it in relationships, and some in family. I see it in the beauty of friendship. It may sound all crazy or rather weird, but to me, nothing matters more than relationship I have with my friends. Through hardship, sorrows, miseries or just good ol' times, I appreciate every moment of it. I may have to go through all the shit in the world for them, but it is all worth it. Having people like them is like having my prayer answered. This could be a crazy thing to be praying and hoping about, but I do. I know one day, they will leave my life, but until then, I will go through every moment one step at a time. At least then, I have something to look back after a couple of years later, and get to say this very line, "I have been there, got my heart broken, broken a heart, but we mended it back together, as one".

I sound rather in love aren't I? haha. Guess you can say I love the relationship I have with my friends. Not all people can see or feel that, but those who could, I know how it is like. haha. Now, I see everyday as a gift! la la laa..



haha! I love that picture..Anyways, these are the people I'm talking about. The loves of my life. haha. Through crazy, stupid, happy, sad, hyper and insane time, we all still make the best of the day. Love it all, love you all. =)

Please excuse my face in most of the picture..haha












Life is dead without people like you,
It is especially hard when life treats me like a fool.
Sometimes, I doubt about the true meaning of life,
But you all held me back, and lead me to the light.
I can do nothing but to thank all of you,
For being the greatest people in my life..