Dumbness Rating. haha!

Okay, these are the rating for being dumb. (by Charlene and not me..haha!)

it's from lowest to highest by the wayyy..haha! :P

1. dumpling (i don't know what and why, but yeah! LOL! )

2. donkey kong (a half donkey, half mad gorilla. People can be creative huh? haha)

3. king kong (from a half donkey and half mad gorilla, to full mad gorilla! it has evolved!! hahahaha!)

And yes, I was being called all that by, yours truly, over there..haha! She kept upgrading me, and degrading me. What kind of nonsense is that?! hahaha! Every time, she calls me dumpling, I feel like eating 'em! arghh! But, haha! No dumpling is the best than the one back in hometown! haha! I so can't wait for the next visit! (which is...erm..NEVER?? haha! Unless Cina New Year laa..which is next yearrrrr! argh!) She is soooo going to tempt me with it everyyytimmmeee! Trust me, I can sense that! hahaha! :P

Anyways, I'm out. Tired as hell! Cheerio! 

Realisation!

Today is officially the happiest day of MY LIFEEE!!! I realised so many things! It's really amazing how a simple thought can make you realise such a big thing in your life! Oh my goshhh!! haha!

Anyways, I want to personally thank all my friends to be there for me! Though I have been really blind, and rather too stubborn to admit that you all are around, but I assure you, it wasn't intentional! haha! I was to blinded to see it all. I guess I was too caught up with the darkside haha! Stupid, ridiculous darkside! haha! At least now, I know that I am not going to be alone! I thought I was for a while. I forgotten that they existed there, ready to assist. I forgotten the care and love they have for me. I forgot! haha! I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, how could I? But, as usual, shit happens, and it blinds us all! haha! 

I thank you ALLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You all know who you areee!! haha! I would dieeeee without any of you! You guys are my light! omg! I'm soooooo thankful right nowwww!! haha! :D And happy nonetheless! :D 

hahahha! yeay! Anyways, I'm outta here! haha! See you all latersss! :D

...

What can I say?..Nothing.

I...

Floating on the sea far away from home, she looked up to the skies above her. She sees the same sky I stare at every night, back when life was simple. She stared at the beautiful night sky, where she and I once wished for a brighter star. As she drifted further than she was supposed to be, she felt a slight chill. The cold, cold breeze was blowing ever so calmly, as she let herself drift far into the distance. She remembered all like it was just yesterday, when we only have each other for all the world's weight to be lifted. We gave each other hope, care and most of all, love. Now that I'm gone, she told me that she has an undirected path for her emotions. It has no where to be channeled to, it has no where to go, and it has no life. Oh, how she wished she knew sooner. 

Days went by. She dread everyday like how people feared Amargeddon. Day by day, I am slowly going away, and because of that, she is slowly dying inside. She is happy for me, and she is overjoyed. But, the thought of losing me, killed her. Though we did promised each other that we won't abandon one another, but she said she is emotionally imbalance without me. I was the one she constantly ran to when she's down, when she's sad, when she's frustrated, and even when she's happy. But, she said that it just seems so difficult now. She know I said that I am not going anywhere, but, she claimed that it is never that simple. 

She fell for my empathy. She fell for my constant problems. Now that she know she is not the only one, she broke down. She leeches onto my sorrows for her joy. Talking to me, whether it is about my problems or hers, is the only way she could be happy. But, now, she is not going to be the person that I constantly run to anymore. She is not going to be the one who I will go to when I'm sad anymore. She could not take it.

Still drifting far away from home, she stopped and listened. The sea breeze, the wind blowing, and the sound of her sinking into the water. It was quiet, real quiet; so, so quiet, and then...She disappeared.

-just wanted to write a freaking sad story to match my mood for the day.

Another piece, FOUNDed!

I found another piece of me! haha. I realised that things aren't as bad as I always like to think. swt. haha. It's nice to know that sometimes, it is okay to be a human. It is not wrong, and is definitely not a sin. I know I can be pretty vulnerable. Okay, not pretty, but a lot. I can be pretty, damn vulnerable. Stupid self-esteem of mine is never active. haha. BUT! I know what I want in life now. haha. For now at least. I guess that's good enough. Don't ya think? ;) 

Letting go of people I dear the most hurts like fuck, but then again, it has it's own benefits too! I can be happy. haha. Though happiness was said to be temporary (Vonfucious??...haha), but I at least can be happy for that moment, and cherish it. haha. Leeching onto people's emotions for mine is silly as hell! I know it's stupid and it will give nothing but more trouble, but, if that's the only thing that makes me happy, why must I?..haha. At least now, I can make sure they are happy too! I can tryy....I don't want to be those typical psychologists that goes ; "are you okay" & "how do you feel about that" kinds. haha. It's soooo dead..haha. So, I'm working towards the talking kinds. I hope I can succeed. GOAL babyyyyy...haha. 

Anyways, just for the random announcement, and also to share my current excitement, I just wanna say....

I found my OWN SonG! whheeee!

hahaha! It's Somewhere Only We Know by Keane. I listened to it today, and realised it just now itself. haha. I lazy wanna explain why here, but I'm sure to tell to those who I want to tell later on, in MSN hahahha! OK! I'm done! Adios! Take care to all readers and bloggers! 

just another sleepless night

How long has it been eh?..lol. My, my, my, it has been a while hasn't it?..Well, haven't had the mood to blog these days. There I go again, abandoning my blogs. ;) I don't have any other things to do right now, so, I decided to blog. Firstly, I found this really cool site that translate sentences to whatever language you can find that are provided there. It's really cool. I will post the link at the end of the post. Tonight, or rather, this morning, I would like to blog about a random post called, 'changes'. Yup, you heard me right. It's depressing even when you think about the title. Well, for me at least. I'm still a teenager for god's sake, give me some credit. lol.

Well, the reason I want to blog about this is ,well, 'cause, I've been thinking about it lately. Every night to be exact. Things has been changing and as you know it, I can't seem to be able to bear it. I try, I really do, but, no luck still. *sigh. I have been depressed lately thinking about the changes that is going on and the ones that will soon happen. I am going in college very soon and well, I don't think I'm ready for it just yet. I mean, I know I am physically ready but, am I really emotionally ready for college?..Hms, don't think I am. I am not ready to leave what I have now. I don't know..What is there to leave?..A very precious treasure called friends. I'm just, not ready..

Day by day, I watched my friends, one by one, slipping away and settling into their new life. It breaks my heart to watch but what can I do?..I guess these things happen eh?..I can honestly tell you that I can only imagine myself in contact with just 2 people from all that I know now, in the future. Just 2 and no more than that. I don't know for sure if I'm right or anything, it's just another woman's intuition. lol! woman..lolll!! (yes, I am very amused) I wish I can keep them all though, really, I do, but, everyone is at every part of every corner of the world. lol. What can 'lil ol' me do?..haha. No worries. I'm sure I can make it through this. lol.

Well, that's it from mua. Lazy to type any further. :) Anyways, I will provide the link for that translation site below here. Take care and goodnight.

http://www.freetranslation.com << (copy n paste yourself. the stupid html is fucked)

Crazy.

Have you ever felt so angry that you just want to break everything that was in your way just to feel better?..Have you ever feel as if you are a crazy, mad, hungry, ferocious dog just looking at a juicy fat man?..Have you ever felt so angry that you are just numb all over and no talk can calm you down?..Well, ladies and gentlemen, I have. It just happened to me last night. Yes, me. The last person on earth you would ever think will have such a feel. It was all so bad. I feel as if rage just blinded me and stop myself from thinking straight. It was so terrible. So, so terrible. I can never imagine myself being that angry and upset. Never. But I guess I was. I started screaming and shouting like there's no tomorrow. It was all so crazy. You wouldn't want to be at the person's shoes whom I was shouting at. I nearly punched him and just fight with him. It was all so crazy..Omg, to think about it, I am actually afraid of myself for being that angry. Shits..Crazy man..