The BIG Environmental Change

Heya peeps. I am now, currently using another blog site for my blogs. Feel free to drop by.

click HERE for the site.

I am not moving my blog, but just changing environment for a while. Getting bored of blogspot. hehe.

I'll Be There - The Jackson 5
You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
Where there is love, I'll be there

I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name and I'll be there

I'll be there to comfort you, Build my world of dreams around you,
I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me, I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name and I'll be there

If you should ever find someone new, I know he'd better be good to you
'Cause if he doesn't, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there

(Just look over your shoulders, honey - oo)

I'll be there,
I'll be there,
whenever you need me, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah

I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there...

Sometimes...

Sometimes, it takes more than just one party to show affection. These things takes two for it to work out, and with that I now understand why I have been drifting away from society the past few weeks.

To make it simple, let's just honestly ask yourself,

have you ever felt tired? Like really tired, tired?

Well, I have. The past few weeks had been stale for me because I had been thinking about alot of stuff that usually wouldn't even cross my mind. I, somehow, got lost along the way. I went from a person that feels for anybody and everybody to a real cold person. I isolated my feelings away from everybody because...I was just so tired; too tired to feel, too tired to know, too tired to please, and too tired to show. I was just..too tired. And with that, I subsciously pulled myself away from society and isolate myself with just me. Who would've knew?..

You know..sometimes we tend to forget who we really are, and I think I have really forgotten who I really was until the other day when I was at Charlene's. Yeah..we did had a talk if you're wondering. According to her, while she was away with her brother's wedding stuff, I've been really distant. And also ever since she got back from Australia, yeah, I was there, but it was as if I am not emotionally there - just the body. You see, there's a story to that.

I used to be a real warm person. I care for everyone as if they are my family, but ever since I had things going on in my life, with the pressure that studies was giving me, I somehow pulled myself away from the world and became the this me. The this me, cares for no one or rather, care less for people. I felt as if I couldn't be bothered listening to people and their problems because I've had enough convincing them that it is okay, when I know it clearly it will not be unless they are able to stand up and say "I CAN"; otherwise, it was just all words. I just didn't see the point anymore, and there is when I withdrawn. I pulled myself away (without me knowing) and restarted my mission to search deeper into life for what I am REALLY passionate for.

Guess what? It did not end well. I wound up pushing everyone I cared for away and became this person that everybody hates. It's really funny now that I think of it. How can one that everybody used to love become someone that, now, everybody hates? Sometimes life just have questions that can never be answered.

Anyways, back to where I was. So, Charlene was telling me that I was emotionally withdrawn from her and everybody else ever since she left to Australia. I did not do it intentionally, but I really was tired from caring for a while. Guess that kinda just made me cold. You see, things happens in many funny ways and this is one of them. Funny thing was, I thought I was fine while Charlene was in Australia for two weeks because I really did not feel that I was crazily missing her while she was away (unlike the last time). It turns out, I was wrong. It was because I had withdrawn myself while she was there, that I manage to not feel anything. And thus, I grew cold. Plus, what I was thinking and pondering about did not help the situation one bit. I got real cold.

That evening, we spent, I think, about an hour talking about this. It took a while to realize what I had done to myself and that how I miss my passion for knowledge. I stopped caring because I could not stand feeling, and because of that, most of me went along with it. I live my life based on intuition, and if without feeling, I could not do nothing - that's why I was so cold (epiphany!). After we talked and after me telling her what was up my ass for the past months, I was alright again, but of course, I need some time to get back. I still feel I'm that ass of a person still.

Awh wells. Things will soon set back in place. Plus I tengah PMS-ing :P . That would explain most of the reason to it - best excuse ever!

Anyways, I'm heading off to watch How I Met Your Mother. It's a damn good show. Cheerio y'all!

The Deaf Couple

heyas. So, many of you know I am working in Midvell for 4days. Yea, I know there isn't much to talk about, but I stumble across something real interesting today. I came across..

a deaf couple.

Yeah, you heard me right - a deaf couple. They were married and both of them are deaf. The only source of communication between them is hand signals. Yes, they do read lips, but hand signals works better. They were in the Maybank fair surveying for usable washing machines. Funny thing was, when I first approach them, I thought they were arrogant for not even replying when I greeted them "may I help you?" I dare not assume they were deaf because it will impolite to call someone deaf if they really are not deaf. After standing there for about, 5minutes, I finally confirmed that they were deaf. I knew the minute when the wife, search for a Toshiba brochure but could not find it. She did not ask her husband verbally, but instead was searching and scouting with the papers on her husband's hands. So then, I confirmed they were deaf. I realized she was looking for the brochure so I quickly took and gave it to them. They were very pleased that I actually bother to serve them.

Yes, communicating with the deaf was sure harder, but it wasn't too hard for me so I manage to go along with it. I could understand the basic things that they were asking me, such as where was it manufactured, how's the repair, what's the lifespan; the wife of the couple, even asked me if Sharp is good. haha. I told them that Sharp is alright, but Toshiba's better. All that while, I was actually communicating with them via simple hand signals and body language. I don't know any crazy complicated ones, but I do know the simple body language that can be understood. In the end, I manage to persuade them that Toshiba is good with their washing machine, that it is very durable. Unfortunately, they did not manage to buy because they did not have enough points to claim. They wanted to get the machine already, but the points were just not enough. They were disappointed.

After that, the wife did something that I think means "swipe more so we are able to claim because we left a bit more". So I told them, when you have enough points, do come back and we were issue a bill for you. Well, technically, I did not tell them, but you get the drill. And so they left. They were so pleased with my service. haha. That, in fact, made my night. Because, unlike a lot, other promoters, I actually treat them like customers, compare prices for them, recommend which is good, even if they are deaf. I don't see why we should separate the least fortunate with, us, normal people.

haha. If you think I am posting this just to blow my own horns, you are wrong. haha. I am actually posting this because to serve that married couple made my night. Also, they made me feel great! haha this not because of me being able to persuade them, but of me being able to communicate with them. I feel really good after that. haha. I even manage to tell them via body language to trust me because I know for a fact that Toshiba is a real good brand and that it's durable. You should've see the looks on their faces, they were really happy that someone actually came and served them. haha. We manage to communicate for about 20minute before they found out that they cannot combine points to redeem, otherwise, they would've bought already. haha. I love that married couple. Very sweet people.I hope they come back tomorrow :)

Anyways, I'm heading to bed now. Tomorrow's going to be crazy! Wish me luck yaw! toodlessss!

Elvis Costello - She Lyrics

She
May be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She
May be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day

She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
The smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell

She
Who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She
May be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die

She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years
Me
I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is

She
She, oh she

the break of dawn

There she was, standing in front of my very own eyes, under the imaginary light that was shone from the Heavens above. Perhaps it was her who had really showed me life, her that had brought me to the light, her that had brought real joy to me, yeah perhaps. Her beautiful hair swung from left to right, somehow in a slow motioned picture in my view, to rid her fridge from her oh so flawless face. Everything about her has stopped my heart from beating, thus skipping a beat regardless of my already weak heartbeat. A breath of fresh air is what she is, it was as if I was drowning in the sea and she came, running to save me. Ahhh, sweet sight of love, where have you been all these years? Have you not heard me call from afar? It has been a while as I had once promised you to keep these love in me so it is one day enough to blow an angel away to be human, so that this poor, tortured soul is finally loved. Oh sweet misery, you have tortured me so.

An angel came down upon my fall, ironically seeking for my very help. I heard her calling from afar and with that it brought me to her from wherever I was. Oh, a broken wing she had. I helped her out, patched her up and lend her a shelter and shoulder to stay and lay on. Eventually, love slowly grew and we had a mutual understanding of one another. And so she left, leaving me hanging to my emotions of doubt and sorrow. It was indeed lonely.

Days went pass, months went by, but there were no sign of her anywhere. Though, I did not searched for her, but my emotions sure did. Oh, how I miss the chemistry, the words she used, the love she could give. I go to bed every night longing for what I have got but threw away for the floating words which I had myself to believe. It was indeed real sad..

One fine day, she decided to return to my very life and God, I was never happier. I know it was impossible, but I have longed for the feel of connection, the feel of known, and the feel of being loved. The Heavens had heard what I was thinking and had sent her back to my arms. It happened within mere days. It was a great day for me; even though, I know there is no way one can be in love with an angel. I love her every move and her every move stops my heart from beating. Perhaps it was her, perhaps it was her who actually showed me...life.


p.s. random ... err... whatever you call it that was inspired by some cina song =P

I wish you knew
the truth
about
how i
feel

wordswordswords.

words of EVERthing

keeps playing in my head

have you ever FALLEN?

knowing you can never have?

IN deep thoughts we think alike

LOVE one another for we live only once

be strong and fight for your rights

WITH full smiles and joy

we will for sure one day get it

be with SOMEONE you can love

find for something great

always be humble

think of the positive

one WHO is great

be great and there for YOU will win

words words words

KNOW your stuff before you act

be tough so you can be strong

be brave so YOU can help yourself up

because we CAN'T afford to fail

perhaps, yeah.

do you appreciate what you HAVE?

thoughts in my head are swimming

all over the place.

A New Beginning?

Holla peeps! I'm back. I am suddenly having a crazy craving for chocolate. Perhaps later I will go get one for myself. Something really odd happened just now. I know I wasn't asleep in the evening, but somehow, right now, I feel as if I just woke up (also with that ringing headache). I only felt as if my body was rested, but I did not sleep. I was just watching videos from my laptop. That is just weird la. Anyhow, on the side note, everything is slowly getting back into place. I don't know why, but I feel so. haha. For the past few weeks I've been feeling nothing but a crazy tense and stress, but now, somehow, everything is slowly coming back.

And I don't know why, but I feel as if things have changed over the weeks. As if nothing is like how it used to be? haha. But it's for the better I think. One thing's for sure...I've been really happy. haha. Reason to why I am happy? haha hmm..I just am! haha. keke...

Anyways, I wanted to post out of sheer boredom, so forgive me. haha. I'm out to get my chocolates now :) bubbyes!

I know it may not be true,
but can I still remain close to you?
Perhaps one day you'll realize,
that what you feel is not a lie

Poetic Cradle

Your Whisper
you are my like little Petunia, my flower of grace,
you turn my world upside down with that smile on your face.
with words so comforting like no other,
you sure my made my world so much better.

you painted my life with full of colours,
also got me out from the world of bummers.
you are a treasure i will forever keep,
never have you disapprove of my wondrous leap.

my dear, you are one of a kind,
one that will forever be mine.
every word i say, i say it true,
never once have i not think of you.

you came into my world, showing me joy,
also respected me and not playing me like a toy.
my world is now all light and sunshine,
all thanks to you my love, my baby of mine.

p.s. random post. not meant to be directed to anyone.

The Man Behind The Glass Window

Heyas peeps! I am back and finally with something to blog about. haha. Anyhow, it has been a crazy weekend - in a good way. I had so much fun the past two days! First I went for Mad to Max, which was on Friday, and then Charlene's brother, Ken's Wedding on Saturday! I have to say, it was real nice to be out there again :) it feels so goooood. haha.

Anyways, talking about the event that I went for, it was a inter-college Hip-hop dance competition. It was held in Euphoria, organized by HELP University College. There was a series of colleges that entered in the fight for RM1000. If I am not mistaken, there was around 5-6 teams that entered, and there were THREE teams from Taylor's College. Unfortunately, none of them got into the finals. Every teams would have to dance their way to the finals in order to win. The finals will consist a team of two, battling it out for the win.

Like I said before, even though Taylor's College manage to enter three teams, unfortunately they did not get in; however, the teams that manage to get into the finals were the team from TAR College and the team from MMU collaborated with SEGi College. In my own opinion, from the start, team Dynamixs, which is the team from MMU+SEGi College, has powned all other teams. This is very well because team Dynamixs's dance moves were really synchronized and they were, in fact, dancing as one and not as individuals. So who won? Take a wild guess ;)

Later on the night, we went on partying in Euphoria, opened a bottle and danced all night. After my experience in Euphoria, I don't really like it. The crowd was sorta immature and I was actually expected the place to be bigger, but no, it is actually real small. hms..haha. The drinks are actually expensive too, but after that night of drinking, I am off heavy drinking for real. My gosh...It was really bad. I never felt that feeling of puking that bad after drinking whiskey before. I loved whiskey, but God knows why I can't seem to take it anymore. haha. For now, I'll just stick to wine and bits of beer =]

Anyways, after that one rough night of drinking and dancing, I move on to another great day; Ken and Emma's Wedding. Woke up first thing in the morning to get ready for the BIG day :) . The wedding mass was held in Ken's very church that he and his family went since he was young, which was in Good Shepard Church. It was a simple yet very beautiful wedding. Nick, Colin and I got there JUST in time for the mass. haha. Though after that day, I am not a big fan of church mass, but it feels great to be a part of it :) . The mass started at 10.30am and ended around 11.45am. Then everyone make their way out to the hall for a lunch reception. Ken and Emma looked really great together and they were so in love and happy :) . It was sure an honour to be there.

The lunch reception ended around 2.30pm, and it is also when Nick, Colin, Charlene and I made our way out of church. We went to Von's to get Charlene's slideshow fixed for later the night where by her slideshow of Emma and Ken will be shown in the wedding dinner reception, in Chorus Hotel. It had a bit of problem, but was fixed momentarily. So, the dinner was held in Chorus Hotel, which is not too far away from KLCC. The dinner supposedly started by 7.30pm, but Malaysian being Malaysians, the guests only fully arrived at 8.30pm. Even though, it started late, it was still a blast! I had so much fun.

The wedding dinner only ended at 12.30am, but because we were staying back for a lil bit, we stayed till 1am. The dinner was good, but the food was kinda...crappy. haha. Anyhow, the best thing about the wedding was the dance. Everyone started dancing at 10pm till 12.30am non-stop! haha. It was a great crowd. Eurasians, I tell you, they really know how to boogey!. heehee. It was real great to be a part of the wedding, I really enjoyed myself - with the dancing especially! It was great. After we left the hotel, haha, Von, Nick, and I decided to go for a round of Left4Dead in v2! hahaha. I sent Colin off because he wanted to go home. He was really tired. Anyways, we gamed till 3am from around 1.45am. haha. It was great fun, really.

Well, that's what happened during my weekend. It was real fun and real great experience (of the wedding). I would soooooooo get married to a Eurasian just 'coz they have great wedding reception. It is wayyy more romantic than Chinese weddings are. haha. Anyways, I am heading to bed now. Planning to skip Computing again :P . Goodnights all and take care.

LaneHoz wants to show you a time of your life

p.s. i am lazy to upload the pics from the two days..hehe

Apa Nih? haha.

God, I am just sooo lazy to go to class. haha. Anyways, heh..PIG IS BACK!! :D She is back from Australia just yesterday. Due to the H1N1 virus, their family are advised to quarantine themselves for at least a week to prevent any chance of the virus spreading. I, for one, did not care, along with a bunch of my friends, Nick, Von and Colin. haha. We went to see her yesterday itself because we missed her way too much to wait another week hehe. It feels good to have her back in Malaysia; things are just not the same without her around y'know? ;)

So..Today's a Tuesday. haha, we all know that. And as usual, I will do my Tuesdays routine with Pig by following her to college. haha. Pig didn't bother to quarantine herself because she has got better things to do. haha. Anyways, we went extra early today because she had to get some things done. After having lunch with her and her other friend, Kaithiri, they head back to college and I stayed in summit to steal some WiFi from the nearest Kopitiam heh..It was 12pm then.

At 2pm, I received a call from Pig. She was like.."eh dude! let's ciao", I was like..huh? "so early?", and haha what'dya know? She was chased out form her college because she is quarantined for a week from college! hahaahahha! It was hilarious. Her lecturer was saying that everyone who is back from Australia has to be excused from college due to the H1N1 virus, for a week! hahaha! Life wtf? hahaha. She was so God damn amused. She got chased out, not because of anything bad, but because she is quarantined! LOL. wtf?! LOL. But then again, she came from Perth and Perth is clean from H1N1. haha.

My gosh..Who would've known eh? LOL. Just when you think they are not serious about these quarantine business. LOL. haha. Anyways, that's all I got for now. haha. Till next time! :)

A Tribute

As most of us already know, our very own, the 'King of Pop', also known as Michael Jackson, has passed away on June 25th (America's date) due to a sudden Cardiac Arrest (a fancy word for heartattack), in his own residence, in L.A. The time of death was approximately, around, 2.30pm (in America), which means it was 2.30am here when it happened. His 'departure' was so sudden, that it shocked the whole music industry and the entire world as well. He was truly a legend (though I, personally, don't really favour his music, but some are pretty, damn nice!). His music was great to some, but life-changing to a lot. Fans all over the world mourns his death through whatever ways they can get their hands on; internet, music, art, poetry, videos of tribute, etc.

This is a tribute from me to our very own, the 'King of Pop'.

“In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.”

-Michael Jackson-

He was a loving person and always wanted nothing but good for the world, especially children. He sees the world from the view of a very hopeful man, a man with a near impossible dream. This dream of his, has pushed him so far that he held charity concerts, produce songs to send out messages, starting all sorts of causes, and more. Though it seems impossible, but he kept on hoping and believing that his dream of...

making this world

A BETTER PLACE

will one day be achieved.

R.I.P Michael Jackson
You will always be remembered

----

I have absolutely nothing to blog about. haha.

-----the end-----

hahaha.

nothing, really

my love for you is crazier than the sea of fire,
my love for you is greater than the strongest wind can blow.
my love, you set my soul on fire,
but sadly, I had to let you go.

never, did i ever forgot about you,
maybe i have for just a 'lil while.
despite the fact that we live in a world of two,
you never did left my mind, not with your warm smile.

you were my life, my soul, my heart,
and also my greatest gift from the Gods.
you are like a living piece of moving art,
painting my everyday with colours and flowers of all sorts.

even though i know you and i are different,
but it is because of that we were so alike.
thank you for saving me, for helping me learn,
it is definitely you that i forever will like.

i love you but sadly, you do not know that,
all my past affords are, as usual, in vain.
i love you and i hope you know that,
sometimes, it's best we do not know the game.

p.s. i don't know why i wrote that. lol. depressed kot.

p.s.s. this is just another random entry if you're getting your imagination all wild. lol.

The 'Work'ing Mind

Heya loyal peeps. I'm back again with another post about another thing I would like, again to share with you people *laughs to herself*. In a short while I will be sitting for my marketing quiz II and I have yet studied (damn). I feel rather fatigue-ish today so I wouldn't even bother to. If I could, I would skip even. Anyways, I am again, blogging from my college computer lab because I have nothing better to do (denying the fact that I need to study) and also I am too sleepy and tired to be movin' around the corridor. And that would mean..after the quiz, I will go straight home to sleep. LOL. Though..this next quiz is a short answer quiz, which I sort of dread coz I do not know anything about Marketing. I am just not a business-minded person. bleagh.

Anyways, pig is coming back in two days! :D Can't wait for her return. Thank goodness I am fetching her, otherwise I have no idea when I am able to see her next. I am dying as it is...sorta. I can still live, but it would be better having her around. lol. Sometimes I do wonder to myself how am I going to live without her in my life. lol. Only God knows.

Many of you may have known that I've been working over the weekends, and a shocking 12 hours job too >.<. What more but as a sales promoter at a crappy place somewhere near my residential area? haha. I work part-time for Toshiba at Carefour, for those who don't know about it. I work in Wangsa Maju branch of Carefour, and ain't easy, mind you. To promote and know every bits about the product is harder than you think. To top that off, imagine 12 hours of constant standing..It's just is so tiring. I haven't had proper rest because of my work. I am going to work one last time tomorrow to help my friend out. This time, I am going to face the market alone (time to curik tulang). I hope I am able to sell something off tomorrow. I really want to. haha. For those of you who want to come see me work (or buy something hopefully :P), come to Carefour, Wangsa Majy, the electronics side where all the stock clearance corner is located. haha. Come! I will be bored. heh..

I don't believe I got a blister on my heel coz of work. Crazy eh? haha. Anyways, I'm off here. Tired. Will catch yaz around yo! Have fun and good luck to those who are having exams in Degree! :D

Toodles!

Makerting Quiz II : Today at 3.30pm

Computing Word Presentation : Next Wednesday

Mid-term Examination : 2 weeks from now

signing off

p.s. : i miss pig...

Work = Hell

Omg. Who would've known to work is so tiring. I almost forgot the feel of working until today, and mind you it doesn't feel good one bit. My feet are aching! The last time I stood for so long was like what?..3 years ago? Working for Disney. Ever since then, I did not work until now.

So, what's the deal with me suddenly working? Well, I am now currently working under my friend, Ee Von as a part-time Toshiba promoter. Today was my first job. Well actually...It wasn't mine to begin with with. My other friend was supposed to be working but since she's not feeling well, Von called me to replace her for two days. So yea, here I am, working for my weekend (that initially i planned to sleep in).

I'm working and promoting for Carefour (which i hate) and omg..already I hate the work. The management sucks like shit, staff there aren't too friendly, and the senior promoters tend to bully the juniors. Wtf..Somehow, everything to them is a competition (which technically is). They are not friendly one bit. If they can, they want to sabotage you and constantly critisizing your promo products. ...>.<. Dumbfucks.

Anyways, work today was alright. There are a lot customers though. Though, none of them bought anything, but we (my friend and I) promoted a lot. We ALMOST sold one washing machine of $1999.99. ALMOST. haha. But that lady forgot that particular credit card and so she left. She's coming back tomorrow though :D Yeay! First sale! $$ Cha-Ching! ;D The end of the day, we also manage to sell off the DVD player which cost $156.00. heh..

Anyways, I'm going off now. Tired from work and facebook is giving me hell. Seeyas!

Montessori Philosophy

Holla peeps. Sorry for the late updates, but I have been indeed very busy. So what's going on? Nothing much actually. Tomorrow Charlene is heading to Singapore for her Supervisory Training with Olivia *yaiks*. Five days of no Pig..Grr...

On the side note, my assignments are finally up and running (except for my marketing). I haven't been having the mood to actually study until two days ago. It is weird how I need a push to get myself back on track. What happened two days ago? Well, two days ago, I attended a talk called An Hour with Mr Lee Havis regarding on Charlene's course, which is Montessori. I love the talks that her college department in SEGi college, Subang Jaya organizes. Their talk are always very much beneficial. I somehow can NEVER find those in HELP University College. I love these talks, it boost me to keep going on and to continue what I am doing.

What? What is Montessori? I am not surprised if you have no idea what Montessori is. Well, here I am going to tell you what is Montessori is all about.

Montessori - The word was originated from Dr. Maria Montessori, founder of Montessori Philosophy. Montessori aims on studying as well as to help the development of an individual from birth to maturity within the background of his/her life-situations. Montessori is a sort of early childhood education, but the method used by Montessori practitioners are different from an early childhood teacher. You will be amazed by how different is different if I were to explain to you one by one.

Anyways, Montessori states that "A child's work is to create the person she/he will become". Montessori practitioners believes that a child should be given the freedom to use their inborn powers to develop physically, intellectually, and spiritually. Every child is born with a talent, and those talent can be found and implied into their own lives with proper guidance. Most people in the world today stresses on academics, and because of that, the child's initial goal to find their own inner talent has gone. They were left with no choice but to score good with their grades and have no other room for anything else. Montessori is very much against with just academics.

A child's mind works wonders. It is also very much young and fresh, which therefore able to learn a lot. But if we were to restrict them from a lot, they will not have a chance to explore what are their inner talent and need for life. A child is capable of doing a lot. They want to learn every single thing they see and touch if possible. We should never restrict their option, but to keep it open and let them explore to see which is best suite them. We, in fact, do not know what a child is capable of doing. I know most parents ended up deciding for their child(ren) because they think their child(ren) do not know how to choose for themselves. On the contrary to that, a child do know how to think for themselves. We should never underestimate them.

In short, Montessori is a study or a method to help a child develop their inner talent so the child can become what they want to become. Different from most pre-school, Montessori allows the child to roam about the classroom with very limited condition, if possible, none. As long as the child knows the basic rules and regulation such as, putting the materials back in place once it is used. A child should not restricted but to be given the freedom to explore, and with that, I am done with my blog today.

haha. have a good night everyone.

Computing Word Report : Week 7

Marketing Quiz 2 : Monday (8/6)

Midterm Examination : Week 8 (approx. 3 weeks from now)

signing off

p.s. : i need to start burning the songs and videos for pig to bring to olivia.

The Evil Sloth Speaks

I am lazy. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Right now, I am supposed to have class and yet I skipped because I see no point of 2 hours of exempted Computer Lab class. Even so, last week I nearly died of boredom searching for information about E-Commerce for my report, which is soon due, during the class. Thank God there isn't Marketing class today. I am way too lazy to be going. It's a 35minutes drive from here to college, and it gets tiresome after a while. Gosh.

It's the 4th week of college and already I feel so lazy to attend the classes. I've already skipped a total of 12 or 13 classes? Considering each subjects on different days. But yea, 12 to 13 classes already in the 4th week. You tell me whether this is hardcore shit or not. I am just so lazy. College isn't what it used to be. It is now boring and dull. And I've got no one I can stick around to hang out. Everyone's...just so different and somehow on a different level from me. Great. I feel like stopping and starting anew elsewhere.

On the side note, I am heading to Euphoria tonight. Whee..(I think). I've only got 100bucks with me to get there. Plus, I am fetching everyone here and there. Gosh. That's the reason why we do not mingle with bosses, and it's that we can never say no. Not that I want to anyways. heh..I've finally got a reason to get out of this sad excuse of a prison home to go out for once. I am trapped as a dog in my house, I tell you. Every night there will be an alarm on without a doubt, so to sneak out is a bloody waste of time and energy. The alarm is very damn loud too if you trigger it (I sometimes trigger it for fun to scare the neighbours..heh..). So yea, I'm trapped like a dog in a cage.

Hm..since I've got nothing to do right now..I should think up on what I can do today..first..

1. Finally continue my Final Fantasy game on Playstation 2.
2. Get some good food because I feel like utter crap.
3. Think of what to wear tonight to portray a good image >.<.
4. Start composing possible chords for Charlene's new Rock song.
5. Do not spend that 100bucks I borrowed from mum.
6. [IMPORTANT] Constantly check mailbox for HELP mails that is mailed to dad!

You must be wondering why should I check the mailbox constantly. Well, it is because, as you all know, I've skipped a numbers of classes and there are BOUND to be warning letters. So, to save myself some yelling, I'm going to get the letter at hand before it gets to dad. If it does, I'll be in hell a lot trouble. *yaiks*.

Anyways, I am going to off to do my things now. Will catch you all laters.

toodles.

Krazy (now jump up let's get krazy! :P)

OMG! I feel so stressed! The best part is I don't even know why! Gosh. I am supposed to be sound asleep now for I have class at not 12pm, not 2, but 10am! which means I got to wake up really, really, REALLY early. My goodness, gracious. I hope I can faster work and faster get some cash at hand. I really need it. My gosh..Tomorrow I'm heading out with my ex-boss and I need the cash 'coz we are heading to Euphoria >.<" . Bloody far. I can't say no to her because, well.., she's my boss! >.<"" .

What I heard was that a really good friend of ours (yes, I don't mean it) suggested to head towards Euphoria instead of The Asian Heritage Row. So now the battle is:

VS

they both look scarily alike..

which also means, cheaper versus the more expensive. But I mean..Heritage Row is so much closer to home. Plus I need to get them from Danau Kota, which is in Stapak, to Sunway. That is pretty damn far. If it were to be Heritage Row, it'd be more closer. I do not mind bringing them here and there, but do consider the option of the driver eh?..I am getting them from Times Square to Danau Kota already for dinner, it would be wiser to head to Heritage Row. That is 'coz to go to Heritage Row from Stapak isn't too bad of a distance, but from Stapak to Sunway?..Gosh..That's a killer. Plus the fees for tolls?..Suicide x_x . Plus, I am most probably to send them to Midvell, back to their hotels afterwards. Oh wells..lol. It's all for the fun..right?..I just hope my mom agrees to lend me some cash at hand..>.<.

Oh gosh..I feel so stressed. Thank God there isn't Marketing class tomorrow. Otherwise, I got to stay back until 4pm. You can ONLY imagine how tired and sleepy I will be tomorrow if there is a Marketing class. Oh, by the way, I came across this really, superbly, funny picture! Check it out.


Who WAS Adlof Hitler?

haha! Hilarious. It's amazing how people can answer such answers in their paper! It's hilarious. I guess this fella isn't smarter or rather "as smart" as those kids in that stupid TV show 'Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?' haha. That show is so sad. So, so sad. Why would they put adults in such position where they to prove to the world that they are dumber than a 5th grader? That is dumb. haha :P . And those who participate, they are dumb to show the world that they're dumb. haha. Of course 5th graders are genuises! They are just 11 years old and that is the time where kids manage to absorb most of their knowledge. Gosh..haha.

Omg..I need those relaxing breaks man..I just do. Just like this one picture I found haha :P .


OCTOPUS!! =]

haha. Anyways, I think I should hit the sacks now. Will catch you all later. Nighties.

Business Quiz Postponed : Next Thursday

Computing Principles Quiz : (unknown day) Next week

Business Outline due date : Next Thursday (after quiz)

Computing Principles Words report due date : week 7 (appx. 2weeks from now)

Signing off

p.s. i feel sticky..(yes, i've taken my shower)

Can You Hear Me Whispering?

sometimes, i have reasons to why i don't choose to talk. i have all the answers in the world and it's all in me, fearing to come out, afraid of what the responses are because it is normally turned down or being yelled at.

Do we know it all? Nope, we don't.

I'm sorry for not making this blog interesting enough. It is more of my space to vent, virtually. haha. I have no interest in posting up photos and talk about them photos unless I have the mood to. It is just too much work for me. Plus, my computer is annoyingly slow so, it isn't advisable. Once again I am trying to stop using the word 'lol' from my virtual vocabulary. It seems that I am using once too often. Hms..who would've known eh?..

I hate that my blog is constantly about me and what I think of the world. I hate it, but this is the only place I can really pour my everything to. Call it a virtual diary, I'd like to call it a healthy session of venting or ranting heh..I feel sort of better after blogging. Sort of. It used to work a lot back in the days; not so much nowadays. I honestly do not know what happened there. Perhaps, it is one of those phases. I know I used to get addicted to blooging. Now, it is just impossible for me to do so because I am lazy and I have nothing to talk about. Even if I do, it'd be the same thing again and again so, there's no point.

So today, I went to Summit, yet again. It's my Tuesdays routine for the next three month. I follow Charlene to USJ, Subang Jaya, to her college while I hang at the cafe around the area until she is done with her class. And again, do not ask me why am I so nice, I just am. Put a sock to it already. Today, I got lectured three times by two different people which annoyed the living hell out of me, but I cannot do anything but to listen. Ugh..sometimes I just wished they'd listen to my side of the story without judging it or rather, understand it. But no harm done la..It's all for the better.

I am somehow very much distracted tonight, which made me sleepless even though I am super tired. I do not know what's exactly in my mind. Can't really pin-point it for me to even say what's wrong. Perhaps it is the time of the month coming its way. I hope it is.

Anyways, I am going to start working soon. With Toshiba. Gonna start promoting home appliances for Toshiba. I just hope I do not freeze when I get the job. Electronics was never my best thing to remember about. Oh which reminds me, I need to get some slacks for work too. Geez...so many thing to get, so lil cash at hand.

I should be sleeping now. It's close to 3am already. Gotta wake up in two hours time. Hopefully I can. aih..

Goodnight all. Sweet dreams.

Wooot

wooow...

I finally saw the owner of Uncle John's kopitiam for the first time! LOL. Anways..

I notice I haven't update in a while now. So, yea, I'm gonna update a bit. heh..This weekend is gonna be a blast! Gonna hit the 'cybers' to kick some zombie and alien invasion asses. haha.

Left 4 Dead!




and also
Comand and Conquer 3!



Woooh! Two of the most rad games now! wuahaha! haha. Anyways, I've updated my playlist with yes, Adam Lambert's version of No Boundaries, single! So happy I manage to find it. Really love his voice. And Kris's too nonetheless :)

The two Idols,


were clearly very close to winning, but to the world's surprise, our 23 year old, Kris Allen got the title instead of the ever-so-great, Adam Lambert who's at the age of 27. To a lot, Adam deserve the title of 'American Idol' because he is more of a star than Kris will ever be. For me, though, they're both equally good and both have their own speciality :) . Love the both to bits. Can't wait for their albums to be released.

Meanwhile, I am now wifi-ing from Uncle John's Kopitiam (my usual Tuesday routine).


This place here is nothing but like all 'kopitiams' are. Great with their coffee and nasi lemak. haha. Nothing too special about this place. LOL. But we do get really good wifi for a really cheap price :) depending on what you order (the $2.30 teh ais) ;) haha.

Anyways, that's all from me for now :) Don't what else to update haha.

Business Quiz : This Thursday

Peace out

The Stranger Within

Everyone has a stranger inside of them. A stranger that they have yet to discover. This stranger is someone that can either wreck you or someone that can fix you. It depends solely at how you want to see it though. This stranger lives inside of you for many years, wearing your clothes, seeing with your eyes, touching with your skin and walking with your feet. This stranger is also your subconscious telling you to move away so this new person can come out from your small 'hell hole' of a body. This stranger - is me.

There could be a way to turn back, but this power, this emotionless being feels the greater deal of a person than that timid, laughing freak. The constant battle of these two constantly happens and sometimes, the darkside wins the best, or in this case, bad case. This self-centered, emotionless, and jerkish person just wants to come out to destroy the other happy, bubbly fucker that constantly gets battered. Enough is enough, it thought.

Is it even advisable to remain to be this dark and cold person that she never meant to be? Possibly. If she wants to. This stranger just wants to come out and kick the timid, bubbly asshole's face because it always lets everything slip by, and hurt whatever ego this dark figure has. Yeah, it has a very high ego sense, but the bubbly side just kept pushing it down to remain the peace and balance. It is just isn't enough for the darkside, not enough. It couldn't stand to be battered again and again without having a say to it.

"but I don't know how to fight back and I hate causing trouble"

Then stay the fuck off says the darkside. It wants to come out to beat the crap out of the people who has pushed its ego down low on the ground and still want to step on it because its fun to. Yes, it is fun, it is, but the darkside just wants to come out and slap those who finds it fun at teasing because whether everyone like it or not, it damages. Fuck it, it says. Slap the people who did it.

Not letting the darkside win, the light came into play and tell justice on the idiot. The darkside says,

"Idiots! Idiots who don't know how to hold their tongues and you're asking me to hold back because it's the right thing to do?? How is that justice MR.MAN??!" sarcastically.

Justice, pointed out the light.

"Whether we like it or not, telling people off straight in their face is just plain rude and uneducated. It is only done by people who cares not of others feeling and we are more than that, we have a good heart. Battered soul and ego, but good heart. Our master is great! So justice it is. Whether you like it or not"

"Yeah, yeah" replied the darkside. But it refuses to sit and do nothing and still get battered from the back and being teased for no reason. So it decided to act on its own and take over whatever it can to its own advantage. It was working for a while, just for a lil while. But it failed so badly. The light still wants to shine through anyways. "Justice!"

---------------

ignore me..fighting with my own emotions isn't a very easy thing to do.

bear with me for just a few days.

or however long it takes.

i really dont know.

it's not you, it's me

sorry..

Lanehoz may have dual personality

Alive? Not Anymore.

We but of human beings trying to survive this ratcheted world. Constantly strive for companion we continue to venture this big, but yet very small world. Everyone knows each other one way or another. Life is like a circle, it goes to the other end and back to its initial start.

I don't really know how people can be happy most of the time. I really don't. I wish I do though. Grr..whatever man.

There isn't much I want to say today. I don't really have the mood to talk about anything. lol. ah well..toodles.

-over and out-

p.s. my bloody fucking, wtf-ing .. is a bloody fucking, asshole fucker, ASS! AN ASS!! a fucking bitchy, mother-fucking ass! AN ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKING ASS!!!! GARH!!!!!!!!!!!! BLOODY FUCKING HELL!!!!!

Lanehoz misses the times when she was genuinely alive..

"Let the head do the talking. Heart, stay the fuck out"

Sometimes all we need is just some company; some company to makes us feel a 'lil better, some company to make us a little less alone, and some company to keep us going. Yeah..all we need is some company. I know I tend to feel lonely, especially when my hormones decides to eat me up, but loneliness is something I cannot help feeling. It's written all over me (no kidding). I wish loneliness is not something one have to face, but it indeed is. I wish I could runaway and not think of it, but dang, I can't. I just..can't.

Sometimes all we need is some reassurance; the same reassurance that one friend give to another, the same reassurance that will keep another sane, and the same reassurance that will binds two individuals together. Yeah..reassurance..Haven't got that in a while now. I did, sort of though; and that is one reassurance that I need to keep on going. But, is it enough?..Conclusion is that we are still human beings, and human beings constantly needs more and more. As greedy as I may sound, but, I need to hear them somehow. Or perhaps I am just imbalance.

Is it this hard to get a positive stroke? Yes. Yes, it is. It is indeed very hard to. To me at least. I, for one, never really had a proper positive stroke (word or physically). It has always been negative or none at all. Most of the time it's none at all. lol. Nowadays though, I've been getting bits and pieces from my parents, but...it is way too late for me to feel it. I am no longer in the stage where family comes to play. I guess there is also a good side to this. Being able to stand loneliness like no other; sure it is torturing, but I can stand it like a lot can't, and I'm thankful for that..I guess?

aih..this is torturing. Having imbalanced hormones without having a proper reason to commence any conversation to make myself feel a 'lil less alone. Gosh. aih..awh well..gotta live with it for the next few days. Just when we think having a reason to be depressed is bad; try having absolutely no reason to be depressed. It's torture. Plain, cruel, emotional torture.

I think I should leave now. toodles. take care all.

-over and out-

LaneHoz:
what's more torturing than leaving me a whole day without food?
it is me having imbalance hormones with absolutely no reason for me to talk, vent or cry.
my gosh. this is torturing.

"What Difference a Day Makes"

"You never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day. Not until it's happening. You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone. The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soul mate. The day you realize there's not enough time, because you wanna live forever. Those are the biggest days. The perfect days, you know?"

-Dr. Isabel Stevens, Greys Anatomy
Thursday's episode, 7th May 09;
What Difference a Day Makes

I heard the most brilliant quote ever from my ultimate favourite TV show, Grey's Anatomy. Though that TV show is full with drama and a lot don't really understand the show because of its drama, but all of those aside, they actually have marvellous quote. Quotes that links to your own lives, quotes that makes you realize, quotes that is worth listening to its every word.

Last episode was a great one; the best I've seen so far of all of the episodes of Season 5. I guess the 100th episode did left the world with a blast eh? It was awesome, sad, and realizing. We do not know what's going to happen to Izzie though; whether she's going to die in the season finale or is she not, but I, personally, highly doubt it. But that episode, best so far. Grey's Anatomy never seize to surprise me week by week. Awesome show.

If you all have never watched it, you all should catch it. ;D It's awesome. So damn awesome. For their medicines, drama, lines, everything. Story especially. Great show.

-Over and out-

Lanehoz loves the latest episode of Grey's

Sometimes..

"I knew something like this is going to happen..well..it did.."

Perhaps it is time.

The Constant Struggle For Perfection

Perhaps it was us who made life possible to live. Those who strive to be a better person and those who do whatever they can to make life worth living. But sometimes, just sometimes, it is hard for us to feel that way - that contentment for life. Life is depressing, and yeah, I admit that with all my heart. Though, there are some moments where things were good and perfect, but that moment normally will not last.

Perfectly imperfect - something which I love to observe. Everyone is imperfect in their own way, and with that, it made them perfect in their own way as well. I love watching the small details of human life that makes people crack smiles and laugh at their silliness. Perfection is not something I would want to find, but rather their imperfection that makes every second worth while to be around. Searching perfection may seem hard to a lot, but it is sure easy for me. Imperfection on the other hand, is hard to find because people tend to cover it up with their 'perfection' and 'charm'. pfft.

Time to time we have the need to be perfect, but has it occur to you that you already are? Perhaps, in the eyes of another? Just be who you are and never fake what you really are because as time goes by, our colour WILL show.

-over and out-

p.s. will be away to hometown at Gemencheh, Negeri Sembilan for a day. i'm still very much lazy to upload the trip photos. lol =P . anyways, have fun everyone.

and to all the hardworking teens, young adults and adults, HAPPY LABOUR DAY! have a great holiday. do go for ice-cream with your dearest ones. =)

LaneHoz wants to eat =)

Lazy =P

Lol. Pictures from Melacca will soon be loaded. just wait.

Great Company vs Letting Go

Today, Colin and I decided to follow Charlene to her college to help her set up her 'little' party for her seniors who had just finished with their final exam (yeay for them!). The purpose for this party is for the juniors a.k.a Charlene's Feb bash, to get some scoops on their upcoming exam in August. Of course, it is also to enjoy and get to know some new people heh..Anyways, we got there just in time. She thought she was running, sorta late, but nah, got there right on time - on the dot. Charlene was the one driving today, and omg...the weather was so bloody hot, I don't even know how on earth we survived on this heat! Gosh..lol.

Charlene asked me a week ago to make a bouquet of roses(out of tissue papers) for the party. Which I did :) . A lot people seem to be really amazed about it, calling it my master piece and all haha. Nonsense people. Charlene's friends are awesome. Though they're old, they're really cool people to hang with :) . I had a blast just by looking at them setting the place up. It was so amazing the way they did it. haha. You wouldn't even believe if you weren't there. Charlene and her friends manage to turn a normal cafeteria, to a very high class buffet meal! It's just really amazing. haha. What's funnier is that everything they bought for the decoration are all from their very own homes. They even brought lights! haha. Amazing. They really put so much effort on it that it impresses me so, so much! haha. They manage to turn to whole place into a palace in just an hour's time. haha. Crazy.

Aside from the brilliant party planning, while Charlene was doing her stuff - helping her friends out with the decoratings, Colin, Charlene's boyfriend, talked to me to kill the time, and also try to get to know each other (I guess...). He, as usual, is nice. lol. But from what I've seen today, he is more than just that. lol. He is way in love with my bestfriend. lol. So in love that it kills to not see her. Gosh..lol. He told me stuff like he has not met a person like Charlene before, that she is so mature for her age. He even said she has an amazing character for the course she is doing! Hell cool eh? (I guess that's how we dig stuff out eh, Charlene? heh..) Moving on, Colin is a very nice guy. Very much gentlemen-like too. I like him. I am glad they have found each other. heh..

I'm happy for them, I really do. She deserves nothing but the best and this, this is the best. Though from time to time she need some reminding, but it's fine just as long as she has me to knock her senses back into place lol. Oh wells. lol. I'm gonna miss my friend though; but hey, Colin is a guy worth giving up for (wow..i don't believe i just said that..). I guess it still kills to know she's with someone and that I know she will not have as much time for me, but hey, I can't have her for the rest of my life now can I? lol. She has got a life to live and I should be the one pointing the way instead the person blocking it. By the way, I'm not saying all this out of depression. haha. I mean every word. lol. I know she isn't going anywhere and I know her arms are still open for me, but I know it won't be the same as time goes on. lol. I just do. At this pace especially. lol. There isn't much I can do but to embrace it ;')

Anyways, I think it's getting late. I should sleep now. Heading down south tomorrow to melacca! I can't wait. There will be pictures loaded soon. hehe..

Aite. I'm outta here. Goodnight folks.

p.s : all the best to Charlene and Colin for their relationship.

Boredom! haha

Yes, we are all bored. haha. It is semester break after all and semester breaks are normally BORING! haha. So what's the deal is that (haha) Kimberly and I, broke a record of the fastest time to get bored. haha. A whooping 5 seconds, mind you. haha. To answer your question, yes we are that bored, and yes we are crazy bunch of people with nothing to do. haha. heh..But seriously, there should be a record for it or something wei. haha. In fact, we were sooooo bored, we tried to play MSN games (which did not load and had pissed both of us off)! bleagh. haha. So yea, the the battle against boredom....continues haha :P

So Von asked me a really random question that day and it is if I were to be an animal, what would I want to be. I answered her, wolf. I have a thing for wolves. They're ... just so amazing haha. Wolves are aggressive when they want to. Only when they feel threatened. I also love their aggressiveness! oooo..



ooo..isn't it just amazing how they look when they want to eat cho face up? haha! :P It is just really amazing at how the wolves travels in packs. The 'leader' of the pack especially. I really admire the leader of the pack. He is the one protecting his pack and looking out for the whole clan. It's just amazing at how they know how to do that. I love wolves!! <3~



They even look great when they howl! heh...

Wolves : aggressive when needed, loners, protective

So, I asked Charlene the same question the very next day, and well she wants to be a



Horse!

haha. Very loyal and free-spirited creature. But yeah, it is very much like her to be a horse. haha. Loyal, free-sprited, cannot be disturbed if it doesn't want to be disturbed. haha. heh..Guess she doesn't want to be a pig after all. haha.


"oink, hey! Even pigs can paint okay, oink"

I also told Charlene that I chose to be a wolf because I love their protective nature and stuff and she disagree with me almost straight away. haha. Wondering why she disagreed, I asked her what she thinks I am. It took a while for her to think though. haha. And guess what she said??!

A panda haha.



A Panda?? Lazy creatures..haha. :P Which is kinda true as well. hahaha. :P Pandas love, and I means loves to sleep haha. And so do I. They are lazy, protective, kind and slow. haha. And they REALLY loves to sleep. They can sleep anywhere and everywhere at anytime (heh..ring any bells?..) haha :P

Yeap anywhere...



and EVERYWHERE! haha.



haha!



I guess even pandas get bored easily. hahaha. I guess I am very much like a panda huh? hahhaha. Oh wells. haha. It's good I guess. haha.

Anyways, I'm outta here. Goodnights all.

It Has Ended!

IT'S HOLIDAY BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Yeah, the end of my third semester has started yesterday after my Psych paper. Psych was reasonably good as usual, hopefully it is enough to pass =] . Anyways, for the next two to three weeks, I'm gonna do some catching up as well as some travelling! My friends and I had so much planned already for the holidays. Besides that, Charlene is planning to train me during this next 2 weeks. haha. >.<''. Whereas for myself, I am planning to swim everyday at my cousin's apartment. Gonna do some self-training. It's been ages since I've swan omgosh. Properly anyways. Sure pancit d. >.<. Swimming relaxes me and it's the best form of sport I've ever found (i don't have to sweat). haha. Swimming actually, burns 2times more than running or any other form of sport does. This is actually proven haha. What they said was that because swimming requires both our arms and legs as well as our body movement, so we tend to burn 2times more than any other sport does. I used to swim a lot back in high school. Explains why I was so blardy tiny back then. haha. I only gained weight reaching end of high school, when SPM was closing by. Besides that, it was also 'coz of all the dramas that was floating around that caused my eating disorder =P.

Motivation is the most important thing to stay healthy. I know why I am like this now was 'coz I got a lot discourage about my sudden weight loss back in high school - my mom wanting more. Geez..I know I am also to blame for eating a lot, but it doesn't hurt to say something nice about it rather than to shoot it down and say that it's not enough >.< .... lol. I don't give a damn about my mom wanting me to loose weight anymore. She is never satisfied about my weight loss, so why bother for her. haha. I am doing it for me now, and it feels 10times better than having her notice it. haha. My friends notice more than she does. haha. Like I said, she is never satisfied with my weight loss. bleagh. So people, please motivate your friends or/and family please. Don't shoot them down, or they will choose to rebel. Especially adoloscences.

haha. I notice I've been talking a lot about myself lately. I really don't know why though. Perhaps the selfishness is coming out? haha. I've never really think for myself until my friends constantly plant that thought into my mind. haha. I guess I have changed a lot from high school. lol. It's weird when you think about it, really. haha.

Oh wells..I'm outta here. Hopefully this will be one hell of a holiday!

toodles!

Lanehoz wants to walk away

Hakuna Matata =]

After a long, depressing and emotionally tiring 3 months of my third semester, it is finally come to an end. I felt a huge relief in my heart after my Psychology exam yesterday. I couldn't be happier for the end of it all. But wait, it doesn't just end there. After my one hour trip to KLCC with Charlene (haha), I got home just to find my Psychology scores for my 60% from the term are out! I also checked my IMs that were left for me haha. One of my IMs were my group members being all thrilled about our PDP presentation marks. Being all excited while reading their IMs, I quickly scrolled to see how much it was and guess what?? A whooping 14.75% out 20% baby! One of the second highest groups in the whole entire list! I was jumping when I saw that. haha. I really did not expect it. Great job team! I'm proud of all of you. =]

This day couldn't be any better.

I found out that my Psychology is only 9.85% away from passing the paper! I was so happy. My gosh. haha

Guess me thinking that I lead the team slobbishly isn't true. haha. Great to know that we've done a great job. This is great! haha.

ooh..I've been addicted to Rafiki's (the baboon from Lion King) quote;
"santi sana, squashed bananas, ooooo oooo, ooo ooooo"

haha. hakuna matata people. May your exams goes well. =]

All the best!

toodles.

Lanehoz is soring and is soring high!

Tears of An Angel

currently listening to: Lovers's Tears by Olivia

I love the song I'm listening to. It's so...heartbreaking yet uplifting. haha. She's a great Asian singer. Olivia's from Japan who is making covers of mixes of English, Japanese as well as to Chinese songs. Her covers are very awesomely done. Very well done. Love it so much.

Anyways, finals is a few days away and haha I have yet to really study. lol. Oh wells..lol. Don't feel like it..lol.

Oh wells...life. haha.

LaneHoz wants to cry..
but she couldn't.

Where Has it Gone?

I can't bare to know, nor can I bare to see you go.
damn it
and
damn it all..

Thoughts swims in my head as I let myself sink into the sea of depression. Perhaps me running is a good idea for now for it is just way too much to bare with the pain I am experiencing. I'm so sick of crying, I'm so sick of dying. I'm so sick of trying and I'm so sick of lying..Wearing but of nothing, a mask on my face, just so I can get through the day without having to spread the gloom I have lingering on me. I can't bare the fact and the truth that one day will happen, that I sometimes just know, I hate it.

Even though there isn't a certain answer to it, but I know it will one day happen. Hopefully by then I am ready. To think about it, pains me so much..lol. So..yeah..bare with me..

LaneHoz wants to runaway..

That Christmas I've Longed

currently listening to : we are the reason - david meece

I miss that Christmas where I first felt so alive.
I miss that Christmas where I felt a genuine joy.
I miss that Christmas where I felt loved.
I miss that Christmas where I felt it all.
I miss that Christmas . . .

That Christmas where I was first brought to known what the true meaning of Christmas is. Never have I felt so alive nor have I felt so at home, oh that Christmas. Being with the bunch people which never did cared about personality but more of what's inside, the bunch whom I can laugh and cry to whenever and wherever they are, the bunch I love oh, so much.

That Christmas that opened my eyes to what people are and to what friends are. Naive as I can be back when then, these people never did make a fuss about it neither do they try to contradict on my beliefs. Oh yes, that Christmas, my oh my how I miss it so dearly. Giving and sharing were what they all did and sharing would be with family as well as to friends. Oh, that Christmas.

Never have I got that Christmas back the years after. Year and years passed by, and never did I come close to that feeling I felt back at that Christmas. It saddens me. Christmas now, is very blue and lonely, very much like a gloomy, dark room. My perception on Christmas changed after a while and never did I got back that Christmas I have longed for.

Oh yes, that Christmas. How I miss it so much.

Perhaps now, Christmas is going to be just another celebration we do. Just like every other festive season we have. Perhaps one day, I will get back that Christmas I once felt back. It feels really close to me, but yet still so far. It will be here one day, but for now, I will just hold the memories and feelings of that Christmas close at heart, hoping it will come back to me one day.

That Christmas..

LaneHoz misses that Christmas so much
She knows she is able to feel it again
just, it has not come yet
but it will

Not Superman, Human

I am not a superman neither am I a hero. I feel, I think, I have needs. Though at times, I really wish I don't feel at all. Emotions is but another boundaries that stops us to do what we are capable of doing. Sometimes, it is way too much to handle. We are all broken and we should all admit it. It is better to admit than to deny. We have but of so much we can do and can give, so why not take a break one day to forget it all? Why not?

Yea, I hell wished I can be superman. That I can save the world and cool stuff like that. haha. But I know I can't (ooo unless it's the whole adrenaline thing! that's freaky). Sometimes, hurt is way too much to bare that we faint, we lose control. Everyone knows that pretty damn well, as well as myself. We need help, in fact, we ALL need help. haha. But you and I and everyone knows that sometimes, it is better to handle some stuff alone before we go to another. I guess we either have issues or we just think well, we are capable. I for one, knows I am capable.

I won't cry unless it's too much to handle. I won't tell unless it's too much to bare. I won't call unless I know it's safe. I know I won't. I am way too proud to admit I am weak (now that's a weird thing to be proud of). (Not to blow my own horn but...) I know I am a very much humble and down-to-earth person, but when comes to myself, I will not expose until I feel it is right. Sometimes we just need time I guess. But time says nothing, time saves nothing. I have a huge ego when it comes to my vulnerability. haha. I am an easy person to get to know but a very hard person to open up. I have a shell. haha. A huge, tough one. haha.

Sometimes, we just got to do some things alone. We do. It's like a thing we humans have. We think we are able to handle it, we think we are able to do so many things but we just cannot. Ahh wells..Guess I will stick to being a human for now :)

Alrites. I'm done.

-over and out-

Lanehoz wants to sore high up

The Mind Speaks

THIS CONTAINS CONTROVERSIAL ISSUES

-- if you want to comment about it, be my guest, just don't go completely against my believe --
-- i respect your point of view so try to respect mine :) --

please and thank you!

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Life and death. A question we constantly ponder about. There is no real answer to whether there is a heaven and a hell, but one thing's for sure, I believe in reincarnation (haha. score 1 for being a Buddhist. haha).

Reincarnation; not something a lot believe in. People who's in Buddhism, believe highly in reincarnation. This is because your time line of being "punished" isn't done yet. Reason to why most people (or spirits/souls) find reincarnation suffering, because it is normally put in situation where we are being reincarnated in a chain sort of thing. We, Chinese (lol), do not get reincarnated but of only once in our lives, it comes in a chain of years. Some can go up to 400 years of being reincarnated (scary thought huh?) I for one, have a feeling that my time isn't done yet (call it gut feeling if you want haha). But I also highly believe if I could do some thing to help myself redeem my years of incarnating, I will be completely swept off from hell and sent straight to heaven (o.o).

I believe that I am here for a reason and not to just live in this pitiful world where poverty still strikes and where people still have children as slaves and prostitude. I believe I am here to help that certain someone (which I think I have found) to change this world to become a better place to be. I believe I am here to help. I am not here to just sit and wait for my death and let myself being sentenced to another life of reincarnating, no. Even so, I know I am here this lifetime to help out someone of transceding personality to get his/her job done. I know I am here for some reason and not just to live, but to go MAD (heh..Make A Difference).

Perhaps I am still young to do such things, but I know for sure, one day, we will make this world a better place. Make a place where poverty is over and done, where children can come out to live happily without fearing those who they are working for, and where children can come out and play without fearing a bomb having to fall on their very heads and homes (my gosh). Children should have the rights to speak up, that is where we come in. We are all soon-to-be young adults and we are the ones who can make a change to this inhumane world where adult abuses their power for money. Geez..Nonsensical motha f-ers.

War. Another stupid thing that I don't believe still happening in this time and world frame. We are in the 21st century people, my gosh, wake up already. You politicians want to fight about something, bring it to the big house and not to those innocent beings who just want to live. Give them a chance to live, even in poverty, even in the most poorest way of living, they still just WANT to live. Poor things. War won't settle anything (and to think politician can think). Fight fire with fire, and you will get more fire from the ones you've just just set, even by using a single match stick. (sigh) poor innocent people. They are suffering for God damn no reason just because one country hates another. Gosh.

Anyways, this is just my point-of-view. It was not meant to point fingers. haha. I am still very much young. Honestly I'm only 18 turning 19 in a month's time. haha. It's just that sometimes, these nonsense just bugs me because it is all unnecessary. haha. Nonsense. Alrites then, I'm out of here. Have fun everyone ;)

LaneHoz wants to change the world
*chuckles*